aetherialslumber | (no subject)

…damn. Well. We can't have that. [He won't have it, certainly. He keeps touching Urianger, frowning.]. What if I went to find something? I'll not see you lost.

...what would you seek? [ He asked, as he cuddled closer. He didn't want Thancred to go. ]

A book, perhaps- there must be something infused enough with your presence, your aether. Or…. [He trails off, frowning. If he made himself the anchor… but could he? Would Urianger like that? He cuddles back hold tightening a little, trying to keep the other safe.]

[ He was relaxing, but... he was quiet. ] Most of my books were brought here. And of those, I gifted most of them to the Queens - to begin their collection.

...would that they could stabilize me.

Then… they wouldn't count, then? Or at least, I imagine that might be difficult…

Of anyone, I might have thought they would be able to…. [He frowns, wings fluttering.]. But… perhaps, if you are willing to try it… I might be able to help, in some small way.

...you... connect to a different Source, don't you. [ He's quiet, as his wings are still curled around him. Moving to kiss him. ] Another 'tween realms. Another burdened by the touch of the First.

That's so, but I consider you as dear to me as any other. [Oh- he clutches Urianger a little tighter, kissing him back.]. I miss my own home, but- I am glad to have met you, here. Would that I could take you home…

I can go 'tween realms. That's why... that's why people think that all is well. [ He closed his eyes. An Ascian... well, not really. He wasn't. ] Do you ever... wish to go back to your home? If not for me, would you be there?

And yet… not to your body? …do they not realise you are yet separated? [A friend, to him.]. …it might be strange, like this. And that- do not blame yourself for this, Urianger. I want to help.

Some think it should be fine. For I called myself Ascian, and there are Ascian without flesh. But they are not chained. [ He sighed, trying to relax. But his wings fluttered a little. ]

...I'll find a way to return you to being a man, then.

…mm. For you… it's a little different, isn't it? It might change, but… I imagine your body still protects your soul, after a fashion.

There's no hurry. [He strokes a hand over Urianger's hair, nuzzling against him.] I rather like aspects of this- and I'd like to stay like this, for a time. [Cuddling Urianger, in other words.]

It is. My body... the grip is near-gone. 'tis why I go to work with the Exarch, even if I don't believe it'll work before I... well. [ He goes quiet. Before he dies. ]

...We can stay together. But wouldn't your people miss you?

[Before… ah. He reaches to take Urianger's hand, squeezing it gently.]. I could come with you. If there's any help I can offer… I would like to do so.

I think… right now, I'm needed here. Perhaps we'll be able to visit, though.

...next time I go. He'll likely have another foolish idea to try out, one that won't work. And then I'll have to encourage him to rest. [ Oh, he sounded bitter. ]

...Zale's from your home as well, isn't he. As long as you're not alone.

…are there no hints? No commonalities, by which we might hunt something down? …I can take over that, if you wish. [He doesn't like that sound in Urianger's voice- and it worries him.]

He is. I didn't expect it, at first, but… I'm glad. And of course I'm not. [Not with Urianger here.]

The mysteries of Allag are not easy to crack. But-- you are not like me. You cannot take over. [ It's still so bitter.

...and as long as Urianger knows that he won't leave anybody alone, he remains a bit calmer. ] It would be unbearable along. I-- feel guilty for feeling this pain, when I know that... others have been here longer.

I know. It makes me wish… ah, but that's no use. Whatever small jobs I can do for you two- materials, food [encouraging them to sleep…] I'll do it.

Mm. Does that matter, if it still hurts?

...you serve me, don't you. [ he said quietly. ]

...it does. I tried to tell Thancred-- ah, the large one... he made me feel awful for this. For overlooking his loneliness.

Yes. I am at your side- or wherever you have need of me.

Ah, him... [His wings flicker quickly, in an irritated moment. One reason he doesn’t mind this- he won’t be mistaken for another him like that.]. Tech. Shouldn’t he have been able to offer understanding, having known that?

[ He nuzzled the faerie, giving him a soft kiss. ] Perhaps I am a little selfish. But I should be used to loneliness. Yet, when I'm here... I wanted things to change.

[He kisses Urianger back, winding his arms back around the other.]. Well. I'd be the last person to say you shouldn't seek out company. …I don't think you should be used to loneliness.

[ He sighed. ] I've got you, though. No matter what happens - how much I slip.

...it's nearly time for me to go to the Crystarium for the day.

You do. And I'll remind you, as much as I possibly can. I refuse to lose you. [Another tight hug.]

Would you mind if I came with you?

...you may. I may need help handling my anger. [ But he doesn't move to stand yet. ]

Of course. I'll step in where you need me. And… better he knows, I should think. [That's fine by him- let them cuddle, for just a bit longer…]